Out Of The Storm, Into The Light
This year has started with a resounding message for me to figure out the answer to the age old question - what’s my purpose? Between a book study, an amazing gathering of women, a newly released album by one of my favorite bands Casting Crowns, and now a Lenten mission my heart is filled with possible answers to this question.
I find a lot of solace in music; it brings me peace and a feeling of being held in God’s arms. Lately, I am finding the echo of the lines from the song Nobody (by Casting Crowns) are bouncing around in my head and my heart, “I’m just a nobody, trying to tell everybody, all about somebody who saved my soul”. The more I hear those words, the more I wonder if I am really living that message? I’d like to think I am. Somedays, though, I am not sure.
I was reminded by Catholic speaker Mr. Mark Nimo during our Lenten mission last night that we can try to justify away all the problems we face all we want. We can try and blame everyone else for our problems and the problems of the world. We can even try to say that it is easier to believe that God doesn’t exist rather than to accept that He does in fact exist and that we are called to live the difficult and freeing life He has set aside for each of us in His love. But the fact remains that God is. He desires a relationship with us. He is in love with us. He is in love with ME! Yes me. Even in my sinfulness. Even in my willfulness. Even if I refuse to dance with Him.
Sin equals hiding, fear, shame and blame. A relationship with God brings openness, trust, a clean heart and a life of grace. In the storm that is life, we sometimes forget that when we find ourselves battling the world, staring at our sins in shame, we should give to God what is His in the first place. The world isn’t ours to fix and my sins – all of them – are forgiven.
What is there to fear? Each of us has our own set of fears that hold us back. Mine? I don’t ever want to disappoint anyone. The number of times I feel I have let others down are too numerous to count. The hiding, the fear and the shame lead to blame. And we use blame to justify our flaws. Last night, I heard the words, “I may be a mess, but I’m God’s beautiful mess.” God doesn’t make junk. When we are tempted to remain in the mindset that my sin (flaws) is too great and it is someone else’s fault, we need to say, “God thank you for the flaw, now teach me how to fix it.”
Back to the idea of my purpose. With all of these experiences swirling around in my head and heart, I am beginning to hear more frequently that my purpose is quite simple – yet profound and urgent. I am to work with God and reflect Him in everything I do. By His grace I will need to learn to dance with Him which will give me the openness, trust and clean heart to remember who I am and whose I am.
I find that idea a peaceful one. Out of the storm, into the light. AMEN