I Just Wanted To Feel Pretty

I Just Wanted To Feel Pretty

I just wanted to feel pretty.  Off to the salon I went, picture in hand of haircut desired.  Knowing that I couldn’t be that girl in the picture but hoping to at least gain some control over the gray and frizz, still I was  seeking to feel like that twenty-something again. 

To her credit, the young woman who cut my hair did an amazing job.  She did exactly what I asked her to do and did so quite lovingly.  But that's the point isn't it?  She loved me enough to give me a style that does make me look pretty.  But sometimes no hair style in the world is enough to satisfy my need to FEEL pretty.  There is a distinct difference, one I clearly need to take to Jesus in prayer.  

Fast forward to this morning.  I definitely do NOT feel like that twenty-something.  After putting on a good front to my family the night before I found myself at 3 am sobbing like a baby.  Asking why? I just wanted to look in the mirror and see someone very soft and elegant like the picture, but all I saw was an ugly disaster.  Two washes later, still trying to make myself feel pretty,  I was more despondent than before.  All I wanted to do was call in sick and hide.  

Surely there will be lots of comments today, most of which I will swat off like a swarm of bees attacking.  None will make me feel better; but that is today. I have asked God for the strength to be cordial, to smile and to hide the pain of disappointment.  

Today my hair will grow a little; in a couple months when I look back on this morning I- hopefully -  will be able to smile. Till then I will take up the armor of God and know that regardless the haircut I am beautiful in His eyes if not in my own.

Believe You Are Called

Believe You Are Called

My Ordinary Experience In Australia

My Ordinary Experience In Australia